Caregiver Support: What Does That Look Like?
What is a caregiver? According to Merriam-Webster, a caregiver is a “person who provides direct care (as for children, elderly people, or the chronically ill)”. There are millions of caregivers assisting people of all ages and health stages. A recent study of the family caregiver workforce indicated that from 2011 to 2022, the number of family and unpaid caregivers assisting older US adults increased from 18 million to 24 million (Wolff, Cornman, Freedman, 2025). Do you know someone who is caring for a family member? If so, how could you provide a bit of support or encouragement?
Listening is an incredible gift.
Caring for a loved one can be rewarding in so many ways, but it also poses numerous challenges. If someone you know is a caregiver, here are ten small ways you could make a positive impact on their situation:
Communicate honestly with the caregiver. Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need any help,” it‘s helpful to offer concrete options, such as “I can make dinner for your family every Tuesday” or “I can pick up groceries every Friday.”
Listen to what they actually say they need without assuming you already know. Otherwise, the caregiver may feel they have to accommodate your needs while also caring for their loved one. Don’t take offense if they say “no, thank you” at first. People’s emotions are often frazzled when caring for a dependent loved one day in and day out. Caregiver burnout is real. Just having someone offer to help is often very comforting and lets them know that assistance and support are available if they choose to accept it.
Offer to sit with their loved one if you are comfortable, perhaps once a week or at a frequency that works with your schedule. That will allow the caregiver a much-needed break. If the family member is not comfortable with a “stranger” staying with them, offer to bring a meal or even just dessert, and just visit regularly with the caregiver and family member together. Your presence will change the atmosphere and add interest to a daily routine that can sometimes feel lonely and monotonous. The boost that little gesture gives to both people is immeasurable. Caregiving can feel like a lonely venture that nobody else seems to understand. “Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero.
You can promote trust by listening actively and empathetically, avoiding judgment, and being genuinely interested. Many caregivers don’t feel comfortable sharing challenges. They often think they shouldn’t need help or express negative feelings. A good, trusted friend (you!) can help them feel secure enough to share what they are really going through. Encourage them by sincerely praising an aspect or two of the care they are giving their loved one.
If you are comfortable, ask what areas of care are most challenging for them. Then, with their permission, try to find a way to minimize the stress in this area. You could research any community services available or medical information that might feel overwhelming or difficult to understand. In my experience, many caregivers are very versed in the medical details. However, they often need help and support with the daily routine, the many appointments, and the lack of sleep due to their loved one’s needs. They crave time with others and a physical and mental break away from home. Constant vigilance regarding another’s needs is exhausting! Just a few minutes of your time can make a world of difference to a sleep-deprived friend.
Offer to accompany them to medical appointments if that is helpful to them. Another ear to hear instructions or help organize paperwork or medication lists might be a relief. If your presence would lessen stress, consider offering this.
The caregiver may have had to limit their hours at work or quit altogether. Financial burden can be real, too. This may or may not be a topic they want to share, but knowing it might be a facet of their experience can make you a more understanding listener and support to them.
Encourage the caregiver to care for themself. Many caregivers may feel depressed on some level and feel guilty or just too tired to take time for their own care. But, like the flight attendant tells passengers to place the oxygen mask on themselves before helping others, it’s hard to take good care of someone else when we haven’t seen to our own needs. Guardian Life’s 2023 Caregiving in America study showed that 47% of caregivers report anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. You can help by acknowledging that these feelings are normal and not something to be ashamed of.
Drop a note in the mail to just say “hi” and that you’re thinking of them. In a world of technology, a handwritten note feels warm and personal. If you are able, include a gift card for meal delivery so they can enjoy a meal without having to cook.
Finally, if you have been a caregiver yourself, one of the very best things that can come from it is your ability to understand and empathize with someone who is living it now because you have the perspective that comes from a shared experience. Having older parents ourselves, my husband and I cared for our elderly parents for many years before our peers were at that stage of life. We often felt alone as we navigated a path we were unfamiliar with. We figured it out as we went. Now, many of our friends are caring for their elderly parent(s) and have asked us for help, advice, or simply reflected back that, “Hey, you know that story about your mom and dad? Well, we just experienced the same thing. We get it now, and it really helps to know that someone else walked this road too.” We are not alone. Could you possibly be a lifejacket to someone who might feel like they are drowning? Your kindness could make a world of difference.
Wolff JL, Cornman JC, Freedman VA. The Number of Family Caregivers Helping Older US Adults Increased From 18 Million To 24 Million, 2011-22. Health Aff (Millwood). 2025 Feb;44(2):187-195. doi: 10.1377/hlthaff.2024.00978.
